First of all, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope the holiday season was filled with love and laughter and that 2017 has started off well.
Secondly, I would like to thank everyone that ordered a Christmas ornament in 2016. It was truly a privilege to be asked to do such sentimental pieces and know that my heart/art is in so many homes for years to come…unless of course, the Christmas tree got knocked over and well…it didn’t end well for the ornament. There is always a photo of it on my computer 🙂
The Christmas season was a busy one for me. It was filled with a lot of ornament painting…which I love and as much time as possible with my husband and dear friends. The ornaments were a huge success and with the support of Freewheel Cycle in Dundas also selling my little treasures it was an incredibly busy season.
I haven’t quite been motivated to do a recap of 2016 since the end of 2016 was a bit epic and well I’ve been sick ever since. There hasn’t been much energy for my writing but I’ve put what functional time I have into painting.
So the long and short of it is no one knows what exactly is wrong. I ended up feeling ill after riding my bike trainer for a very easy one hour on December 26th. By December 28th I was in the hospital with chest pain, vomiting, nausea from hell and an endless amount of stomach acid that felt like I swallowed a bottle of muriatic acid along with a variety of other issues. Discharged that day from the hospital with the ‘it might be the flu’ answer back home I went. Days later, losing my mind from becoming more ill it was a trip to my family doctor. I pretty much had a meltdown in his office. Weak from not being able to eat because of the nausea and stomach acid which also made sleeping impossible, my chest felt like it was in between a vice grip and my spirit was pretty broken.
Through the discussions with my doctor there was the thought of an anxiety attack which wasn’t letting up and perhaps the H pylori (a bacteria that can live in the gut and cause a lot of stomach acid issues) may have returned since my first exposure to it in 2014. Back home I went with some anti-anxiety medication and antacids.
Each day showed little improvement other than the anti-anxiety meds made me groggy and foggy. At times I just broke down crying, exhausted from what seemed like an endless ordeal. I didn’t feel anxious, I felt completely broken. More trips to the doctors, more meds along with antibiotics which sent me spiraling into an even more sick and dysfunctional world, I began trying to live one minute at a time.
Each minute has been a roller coaster of highs and lows. Seconds of not being nauseous bringing brief moments of happiness were squashed with minutes of hovering over a toilet and being helped back to bed by my incredible husband. At times I thought if this was anxiety…this is f*cked! Each day has been a battle to get to medical appointments since the worst parts of my day start at about 4 a.m. and don’t let up until the afternoon. More tests are to come and hopefully at some point there will be answers and some solutions.
There were times that I truly felt that lying in bed was making me insane so I went to my easel and worked on paintings that brought me warmth and happiness. There are tears mixed in the paint of these pieces and they were tears of gratitude for being able to at least pursue one of my passions and have periods of happiness. These were also times that helped me keep my mind from spiraling down a road of …is the cancer back? Most cancer survivors would tell you that the fear never really leaves and being this ill certainly took my mind to dark places.
So these days I spend most of my time at home with the occasional jaunt out with my husband to an appointment or a casual walk. Exercise and extended conversations with people are not options. Watching ‘how to’ paint videos, talking to my ever-so-patient and understanding husband and brief periods in front of my easel are the few things that top up my drained spirit so I have some ammunition when the battle gets fierce.
I’ll keep you posted on what develops. Until then, I’ll post up each of my paintings that have been completed and if you have any interest in purchasing one (except these ones since they’ve all gone to new homes)…yay…don’t hesitate to contact me.
As it was said in Kung Fu Panda…”Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift…that is why it is called the present.”